Sometimes anger and frustration over a dispute can get the better of us. “We’ll just let the court decide,” is the way negotiations end. Litigation is costly, time-consuming, and emotionally draining. You want the problem solved and you can’t get before a judge for weeks, so you re-play your position over and over in your mind and find that neither your anger nor your frustration have subsided. Once in court, everything is out of your control. Somebody wins. Somebody loses.

For example, if you and other family members are deadlocked in a dispute over the estate of a loved one, it is probably the result of misplaced grief. In a few years you will likely be grumbling (together or separately) over how much of your combined inheritance was spent in probate court.

Mediation is a confidential process designed to encourage open and honest discussion of all the issues. A mediator is an impartial person who encourages dialogue between the parties, and asks questions in order to fully understand all of the issues. If an agreement is reached, it is the parties’ agreement, not the mediator’s judgment. The parties are always in control of the outcome. If an agreement is not reached, everyone’s interests are protected and preserved for court. Nothing that is said in mediation can be used to either party’s advantage later in court. The mediator is never called to court as a witness for either party. Most of the cases I have mediated began with great skepticism. More than 70% of those cases ended in negotiated settlement. If an unresolved conflict is a distraction in your life, I invite you to consider mediation.